The Wild West: Billy The Kid – Tuesday, 8:30pm, ABC
Before the World Wide Web there was another WWW – the Wild Wild West. Pew! Pew! Pew! Piaow! (That last was a ricochet effect.) Part two of a three-part series, this tackles one of the West’s most mythologised figures using court records, letters and press reports. Was Billy actually pardoned? Will there be a re-enactment with a hot guy playing Billy? Pew! Pew! Pew! Piaow!

Movie: Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo – Tuesday, 9:30pm, Ch9
The other day Dan said, “Rob Schneider is one of cinema’s most underrated comedians”, and I nodded sagely before realising he was taking the piss. But seriously, you could do worse tonight than switch your brain off and enjoy Deuce’s only incidentally sexual antics as he romps through Paris.

Glee – Thursday, 7:30pm, Ch10
Ahhhhhhhhhh, I’ve been hanging out for this high-school choir dramedy since: a) I read about it when it premiered in the States; b) Ten cruelly showed the first episode months ago as a ‘teaser’. This stuff is like sinking into a hot bath – a choir of misfits; a vengeful squad of popular cheerleaders and footballers; earnest teachers; Journey’s ‘Don’t Stop Believing’. Jazz hands at the ready!

Skippy: Australia’s First Superstar – Thursday, 9:30pm, ABC
What’s that, Skip? (Tk-tk-tk-tk-tk.) There’s a tribute to you on TV this week? (Tk-tk-tk.) Magda Szubanski’s narrating? (Tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk.) They made you chew rubber bands? (Tk-tk.) They fed whisky to the emus? (Tk-tk-tk-tk-tk.) They kept you in a burlap sack between takes? (TK-TK-TK.) We better turn the telly on – and fast!

Movie: Spectacular! – Friday, 8:30pm, Ch10
This movie was released in 2009, so it bodes kind of ill that I’ve never heard of it, plus it’s already on TV. But Ten is desperately cashing in all its teen musical chips with Glee, which is why it’s screening this totally predictable film starring ‘our’ Tammin Sursok and the absurdly named Nolan Gerard Funk. It’s about a garage-band bad boy who’s forced to join a faltering school choir trying to win an upcoming competition. At first he can’t stand them but… well, you totally know what will happen. And you love it.

Striptease Unveiled – Friday, 10pm, SBS
The Friday Night Porno slot (fnar! “slot”) doesn’t disappoint with a documentary on the history of taking your clothes off in a deliberately titillating way. It heads to Pigalle, the Parisian red light district where the Moulin Rouge is located, and interviews strippers, patrons, strip club owners and a psychoanalyst to examine the intricacies of the relationship between strippers and viewers.

Movie: You’ve Got Mail – Friday, 8:30pm, Ch9
A couple of weeks back I actually really enjoyed Sleepless In Seattle, so I’m not-so-secretly looking forward to seeing America’s sweethearts, Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, reunited in this tale of big book retailing (mean Hanks) versus independent retailing (adorable Ryan). Little do these antagonists know they’re in an ad for AOL! You’ve got product placement!

To Be Advised – Saturday, 5pm, Ch10
Yay! Our favourite TV series is back, and now it’s Channel Ten’s turn to host it! You know what you’ve gotta do, Ten – screen Michael Jackson’s Face! Show us how funky strong is your fight!

Movie: Kung Fu Hustle – Saturday, 9:50pm, SBS
Steven Chow’s 2004 Hong Kong action comedy, set in the tenements of 1940s Shanghai, is cartoonish rolled gold! Some of the legends of Hong Kong cinema came out of retirement to be in it. The plot follows Sing and Bone, two no-good street rats who discover their destiny in a frenzy of arse-kicking.

Cavemen – Sunday, 1:55am, Ch7
It must have seemed like a good idea to take the cavemen characters from Geico’s very funny insurance ads and build a whole series around them, but it absolutely bombed. They’re longsuffering cavemen living in the modern world, constantly suffering discrimination. That’s pretty much the extent of it. However if you’ve come home from your Saturday night feeling a little merry, you might find it more amusing than usual.

The Enthusiast’s ‘Best Stuff On TV This Week’ column is published whenever it looks like a good week of telly ahead, and compiled by sorting through the TV guide, among the dispiriting reality shows and US procedural dramas. We don’t cover digital stations or pay TV because not everyone has fancy-arse set-top boxes and Foxtel.