This is Australia(n racism).

Being proud of Australia is like being proud that you’re right-handed. By some accident of birth, your life has been made that little bit easier.

You didn’t earn your right-handedness. You haven’t made a positive contribution to the nation merely by being born here. Most likely your impact is less than one 26-millionth of the sum total. There’s nothing particularly to be proud of, but a lot to feel thankful for.

That doesn’t stop people fiercely defending a flag that is still one-quarter dominated by another nation’s. The Australian flag’s official designation is as a “defaced British Blue Ensign“. Bogans will tie it around their neck to become OzMan. You’ll see this a lot today. If these nationalists are so energised by rules (”We decide who comes to this country and the circumstances in which they come”), they’ll certainly have no problem following the guidelines first alluded to in the Flags Act of 1953.

The flag protocols are many, including:

• The Australian National Flag should be displayed only in a manner befitting the national emblem
• The flag may be displayed at night, but only when it is properly illuminated
• If a purely decorative effect is desired without the involvement of precedence, it is better to confine the display to flags of lesser status, eg. house flags, or pennants or coloured bunting.
• A flag is said to be ‘defaced’ when a ‘badge of office’ or any other object is superimposed upon an authorised flag. Convention is not to deface the Australian National Flag.

Just letting true blue Aussie patriots know. Incidentally, the Australian flag atop the Newtown RSL was stolen yesterday, and returned today. RSL president Len Rice naturally established exactly how ashamed the culprits should be, but it was curious to note that since the flag had been removed from the pole and subjected to unknown molestations, it now has to be destroyed. Poor flag.

Maybe we’re being picky to prove a point here. Let’s go with something more positive for Australia Day: Southern Cross tattoos. Or maybe not, as the Southern Cross (and the Eureka Flag) has been co-opted by white supremacist groups and garden-variety racists. Filmmaker Warwick Thornton recently expressed fears that the Southern Cross might become an Australian version of the swastika, possibly a little too late.

The major issue with our adoption of the Southern Cross as a national emblem is that it’s not really ours. Aborigines revered the constellation but so did the Maori, Inca, North African Berbers, Malaysians, Indonesians, Hindus and Argentine gauchos. It appears on the flags of Brazil, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, Samoa, Chile’s Magallanes region, and the island territories of Niue and Tokelau. It’s the major figure on the logos of the Brazilian national football team and the South American joint trade network Mercosur. The Spanish name for it – Cruz del Sur – is the name of the Argentine Air Force acrobatic display team.

From the now banned 'Fuck off, we're full' Facebook page.

So how do you express your undying devotion to your place of birth without being mistaken for a neo-Nazi surfer or a Patagonian? Try looking to the bottom left of our flag and get a tatt of just one seven-pointed star — the Commonwealth Star.

Also known as the Federation Star and the Seven-Point Star, the Commonwealth Star is particular to Australia. It tops our Coat of Arms and underscores our flag. Symbolically, it’s a little wishy-washy; six of the points represent the six original states and the seventh represents the Territory of Papua and any “future territories”. But it does appear on military and police badges, service medals, money and on official buildings.

Plus, the heptagram is multi-purpose. Seven-pointed stars are sacred to the Cherokee, Wiccans, Kabbalists, alchemists and Christians. And if you’re at the Big Day Out and someone grills you about it, you can just say you’re a huge Tool fan.

So keep your Southern Crosses on your flags, keep your flags on your poles, and enjoy patriotism responsibly on Australia Day.