Ministry Of Listicles: Top 8 Animals That Yell Like People

Animals… they think they’re people! But anthropomorphism isn’t always adorable – sometimes it is deeply sinister. It is bad enough to imagine apes putting their damn dirty paws on us… but what if other animals could take over the world, armed only with their uncanny ability to sound like humans in YouTube videos? Brrr… it doesn’t bear thinking about. And speaking of bears…

1. Yelling Bear

This clip is from Jean-Jacques Annaud’s 1988 film The Bear, which is notable for its anthropomorphism in that its hero is an orphaned bear cub who meets up with an adult male grizzy bear and the two go on a journey… “a journey to survive”, as the poster put it. It’s a little like The Adventures of Milo and Otis. At the end, the two bears snuggle up together in a cave for winter… is there such a thing as paedophilia in the bear world?

2. Yelling Goat

“Goat Yelling Like A Man” is a famous meme – we’ve mentioned it on The Enthusiast before, and it’s been mashed up with all sorts of other things, from Usher to Phoenix to Oprah’s terrifying battle cries. But this is the original.

3. Screaming Frog

Crikey. You’ve heard of the Crazy Frog, but this is something else. It’s almost as if the cat is petting the frog to try and make it feel better. But this is not a one-off frog – there are a surprising number of screaming frog videos on the internet.

Turns out the scream, or ‘release call’, is a defence mechanism. In their book Frogs, David Badger and John Netherton writes: “The distress call is a scream, wail, or other loud cry emitted by a frog or toad (usually with its mouth wide open) when seized by a predator such as a snake, bird, or mammal. The apparent purpose of the cry is to startle or disorient the predator and thereby effect the release of the victim. … in bullfrogs, the high-pitched scream is reminiscent of a human voice.”

4. Squeaking baby seal

Seals make noises that aren’t unlike the Goat Yelling Like A Man, but this clip of a baby seal is far cuter. It sounds and acts like a human toddler when the parents’ friends come over and it gets ‘over-excited’ and has to be put to bed early. It was filmed on a glacier near Nova Scotia in 2007.

5. Shouting dog

A short clip, but an astonishingly human-like sound. This sounds like it could be the new Wilhelm Scream – it would be good to use in scenes where a character is suddenly shot or stabbed.

6. Death metal rooster

Wow, this is what we call ‘rocking out with your cock out’. There’s a definite genre of animals that yell like extreme metal singers, from Burger the upset shelter cat to a camel and these impressively hardcore monkeys. But while this sheep doesn’t especially sound like a black metal singer, it does sound unnervingly like a human saying “Bah!” Especially if that human is either Patty or Selma Bouvier.

7. Puppy shouting for Elmo

Will someone just get this puppy Elmo? He wants Elmo! Elmo! We especially love the cat lying on the floor, utterly unconcerned and not at all in a hurry to run and fetch Elmo.

8. Screaming bunny

Rabbits pretty much only scream when they’re attacked by a predator, or in other situations of extreme pain or terror. To put it mildly, it is an unnerving sound. This bunny does not enjoy being bathed, probably because you are never supposed to bathe rabbits. But perhaps more chilling is the psychopathic laughter from its owners.

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Comments

  1. Data says:

    This has got to be the shittiest collection of shitty videos I’ve ever seen on the Internet.
    You bring FAIL to a new level

  2. Mel Campbell says:

    LOL, don’t worry! You’ll love our next shitty video collection, “Top 7 Troll-Friendly Bridges”.

  3. mike says:

    uhhhh-booooooo

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