Conan O’Brien ended his seven month stint on the Tonight Show with trademark class, and – in a delicious if predictable irony – his highest ratings ever.

At one crazy stage in the recent celebrity carnage, Jeff Goldblum and a host of other stars were reported to have died too. What does our response to deaths – real and fake – say about the cult of celebrity?

It's been a few weeks since the last instalment of this column – and that's because there isn't much good stuff on analogue free-to-air TV. But never fear: we've run a fine-tooth comb over the TV guide.

The title is unintentionally ironic as a quartet of otherwise talented actors become enmired in this meandering remake of a campy '70s TV show.

Where did that horror-movie thunderclap noise come from? Or that hospital PA? Or that ridiculous scream? We investigate the uses of some classic stock sound effects.

Sure, Will Ferrell had a step-brother in John C Reilly… but in our fantasy casting column he meets his long-lost older brother, Ron Perlman.